idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize