It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
