so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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