I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
