It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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