Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
