FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
