Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
