um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize