did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
