Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
