Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
