Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I have post one night stand depression
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
