I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
