I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
