I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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