She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
