Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
