Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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