i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
