So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize