I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
