Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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