I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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