i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
