apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
