can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
