i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
