I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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