Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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