You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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