He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
