Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
