I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize