why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
