I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize