Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
