At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
