how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
