Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
