glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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