Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
