I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
