I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
