question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
