Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
