Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
