Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
