if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
