She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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