you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
