You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
