i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
