you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
