VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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