I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
