You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize