Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and i looked up. we had an audience...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
