Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
