I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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