It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
