I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
